I feel like I’m running a marathon and someone keeps moving the finish line

And that someone is me.

There’s a lot of things that seem to set me back.

Holidays go from a 1 meal event to a full blown weekend binge.

Birthdays are not birthdays, they’re birthweeks.

I get frustrated after a week of trying something new. And when I don’t see immediate results, I throw in the towel.

Last year, around this time, my goal was to be at goal weight by TheSmoosh’s 1st birthday. I was 30ish lbs shy of that goal.

But I had made progress, right?

Right.

Now I sit here and think, ‘if I had just pushed harder…’.

The only thing I can do now is push. Push myself to try to break lifelong bad habits of revolving everything around food.

Thankfully, Easter is the last real holiday til Halloween/thanksgiving. I’m going with just trying to minimize damage until Monday. Then I’ll weigh in Monday morning, put the scale away for atleast a week.

I need to stop moving that damn finish line.

It sure ain’t easy

There are times where I wonder if I’ll ever reach my goal weight. It seems no matter how hard I try, some days I slip. Sometimes it’s a little slip. Sometimes it’s huge.

I used to let a small slip turn into a big week long bingefest, because really – who restarts a diet on a Wednesday? Not this chick.

But I also beat myself up emotionally about the little missteps along the way. Almost too much. Which then makes me feel worse. And then I eat.

No one ever said losing weight was easy. This is fucking tough. And a long journey too. And people say the harder the battle, the sweeter victory is. But clearly they’ve never eaten Nutella.

So I really need to reevaluate myself. And how I deal with the missteps that WILL happen.

I need to learn from them. Make myself better. Make better choices. Allow myself to slip, but pick myself back up.

And realize that this journey will not be easy, but I can make it easier.

Feat of Strengths

So TheHubs is starting his hard core diet tomorrow….

So, that means I get sent on an ice cream run.

Now, I am at my daily points. Normally I’d say ‘screw this I’m eating ice cream’, but this time I thought ahead. I went in with my iPhone so I could calculate the points on a teensy tiny Haagen Daaz vanilla.

Now, normally, I’d just throw it in the basket, eat it at home, then calculate the points and cry. But not today.

Today, I calculate the points.

6 POINTS!!

Yeah, it went back in its cozy spot in the freezer and I grabbed the old stand-by – sugar free Fudgsicles.

This my friends, was a true feat of strengths.

Lesson Learned

Sometimes it just takes a bad week, I mean actually seeing it, to make you change.

Last week I tracked everything. EVERYTHING. Anything I ate, I logged it.

I was SHOCKED.

96 weeklies used. 96!

I was shocked and ashamed. THIS is why I’m stuck. All of those little ‘nibbles’ really added up.

But there was a positive… Look at my APs earned! It’s been a long time since I’ve hit that.

Keeping along the positives of my #100daysoflosing I’m looking for a positive to take out of last week.

And there are a few….

Preplanning as much as I can WILL save me.

Walking. Now that the weather is warmer (and by warmer I mean mid40s-50s), there’s NO excuse.

Cutting back on eating out. The past 2 weekends weve eaten out a lot more than usual. And I’ve paid dearly. So TheHubs & I agreed this weekend we will only go out once while running errands, as opposed to the 3-5 times we have done the past 2 weeks.

I have 92 days left of this #100daysoflosing & I plan to make them even more awesome than the first 8.

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Motivation tastes better than laziness

Last night we had Chinese buffet. And while I made some great choices there, buffets are point heavy. And I fully expected & planned for it.

But I didn’t plan for the aftermath at home.

Sea salt caramels.

Pistachios.

Coconut creme eggs.

So I calculated my points. Logged it. Pouted a bit.

Then went to bed.

This morning, I decided to NOT let it roll into today. Even with a ravioli, meat ball, sausage & garlic bread dinner in the works.

I made TheHubs & Smoosh their normal French toast breakfast. I ate my yogurt.

Now I’m writing this as I’m outside walking.

Small steps. But steps in the right direction.

I love/hate WW

Nothing is more defeating than feeling great about your food choices and seeing that you’re 5 points over your daily points.

Nothing.

I know part of it was a lack of planning on my part, but in the same respect… WTF?!

I know it’s ‘only’ 5 points. But it’s 5 points.

So it shows that I need to plan better. Prelogging my food has helped me before, so hopefully it still does.

#100daysoflosing

It’s a journey.

For 100 days, I’ll post a photo each day (a POSITIVE photo) documenting my journey.

A journey towards a better, healthier me.

It’s an idea that came to me from the #100happydays hashtag. A positive way to view this journey which is often riddled with challenges.

I’ll be documenting it on Instagram daily (@chelleyschoe), and here I may post as well.

I’ve also decided to weigh myself every 10 days. Even if I lose 1lb every 10 days, that’s a 10lb loss. A great boost!

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