Lost All Control

So, yes, I lost at this mornings weigh in.

And TheHubs now has 3 day weekends for the remainder of April. Which means it’s like an extended weekend. And we all know how I feel about weekends and trying to lose weight. It sucks monkey balls.

Today was the PRIME example why I hate hybrid Monday-Weekends.

I got up at 730am, like normal, and TheHubs fed BabyNate. So instead of taking that time to eat breakfast, a greek yogurt, I opted for coffee. Swell. I love me some coffee.

Then, it was BabyNate’s naptime, and he loves napping on me. And since I slept like crap last night, I layed on the couch with him on my chest and we napped. It was amazingly quiet in the house as TheHubs had gone out looking  for a new fishing spot. So we napped. For 2 hours!

When we got up, he was a little fussy, so I changed him and I scavanged the kitchen because I was now STARVING TO DEATH. Well, not really, but I was hungry.

So I ate a greek yogurt. 4 points.

Washed it down with rice crackers. 4 more points.

Then grabbed a few more, because, well, I wasn’t hungry anymore, but I WAS starving before… so, yeah. Another 4 points.

Then TheHubs came home, and he had a lunch of pretzels with dip, tortilla chips and salsa. So, while I was feeding BabyNate, even though the little voice in my head said “remember your blood sugar” I still shoved pretzels in my pie hole like they were going out of style.

I guesstimated 8 points because I really had no idea how many I actually ate.

Then, TheHubs was out in the yard, and I can’t even remember the crap I shoved in my mouth just because. I couldn’t even tally it up if I had to…

I have no idea why I do that mindless eating. It’s almost like I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to eat it, because IF TheHubs gets hungry and IF he eats it, I’ll never have another pretzel ever because we bought the last bag ever made.

Totally rational, right?

And I heard that stupid voice in my head telling me not to eat, because of my blood sugar, yet I ate it anyways. I have no control sometimes, which is redonkulous to say since I AM in control of myself. It’s whether I choose to go right or left. And for some reason my internal GPS was a little screwy this morning/afternoon.

So, here I am at 10pm, trying to keep myself occupied til it’s shower and bed time.

I might starve to death.


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