When I had GD during the last 14 weeks of my pregnancy, I longed for the days where I no longer had to count carbs, or make sure I had enough protein, or had to stare at labels all day. I wanted to not think about what carb to protein ratio worked best at breakfast, what carbs would set me off at lunch, what I could eat with my measly 1 cup of pasta at dinner. I wanted those days gone. To be a distant memory.
But now, 6 months post partum, I still find myself looking at carbs. Contemplating buying bags of string cheese, just in case. Looking all over for Dreamfields pasta. Comparing 4 types of breads in the bread aisle, knowing full well that none of them would work, but I was hopeful. Wanting to buy the industrial sized bricks of cheeses. And who could forget the dozens upon dozens of eggs. I can’t.
I may have had it easier had I passed my post partum GTT at 8weeks. But since I failed it, but my endo didn’t want to diagnose me as a type 2 just yet, I was in diabetes limbo. Not out of the GD woods yet, yet not a type 2. It’s like the Bermuda Triangle. Only in the Bermuda Triangle, you don’t have to count carbs.
So I continued on my carb counting quest. I dilligently tracked my food like I had the last 14 weeks of my pregnancy. I began to loathe carbs. I hated eggs. And my love for cheese became a torrid love-hate relationship.
I began to hate eating.
But I trudged on.
Making it even more cumbersome, I run a board on Babycenter for Gestational Diabetics where I dole out advice and talk all day long on how many carbs, what proteins, best snacks, trigger carbs, good carbs, different ways to combine eggs and cheese….
I can’t get away from the carbs and the proteins.
Finally, at 6 months post partum, I passed my GTT. I no longer had to count carbs.I no longer had to find my perfect carb to protein ratio. I could focus on weight loss. Easy peasy, right?
Now, here I sit, 6 months post partum eating a sugar free ice pop typing this up. Formulating in my brain ways to undo the GD mind voodoo. How do I stop obsessing over my carb intake and if I ate enough proteins to cover my carbs?
I don’t think I ever will, really. I think the scare of potentially having diabetes has made me more aware of what I’m eating, which is good. I catch myself saying, as I prepare lunch, “This is x amount of carbs, I need y amount of protein…. no no no, wait, I don’t need to do that!”
I’m sure, for the rest of my life, I’ll consciously and subconsciously count the carbs and proteins in everything I eat. It’s not a bad thing to have stuck in my subconscious.