Dunkin Donuts Gets Me Every Time

Damn them and their excellent advertising techniques.

I go there with all intentions of getting an iced coffee. Just an iced coffee. No donut. No croissant. Just my lovely iced coffee deliciousness.

But Dunkin Donuts has some awesomesauce marketing techniques that are geared with me in mind. The biscuit lover.

As I pull around the drive thru I repeat to myself “Just a coffee, self, just a coffee…” When it hits me with all its larger than lifesize glory.

A biscuit. I believe its a fresh-from-the-oven-still-kinda-warm-and-oh-so-flaky biscuit. It’s rather large on the billboard. I guesstimate about 12″ in diameter. I have dreams about biscuits like that. And get this, its topped with eggs, bacon and cheese. Yes. The ultimate fatass trifecta. Bring it.

So, I lose all self restraint for a moment and after I blurt out my coffee order I add on “And a bacon egg and cheese on a biscuit, please”. The real self restraint was when the lovely dreamy voice from the biscuit billboard asked me if I wanted to add hash browns for 99 cents. Hell no. You know how hard those puppies are to eat in the car?! One always falls into the larger bag and I must fish for it mid-drive because who wants to eat a cold hash brown?! Not me, that’s who.

I have a moment of regret that was then filled with jubilation as I drove off. I waited til I was about halfway home, cause they seriously nuke the bejeebus out of them to the point where I had a 3rd degree burn on the roof of my mouth, to indulge.

And hot damn biscuits. It was divine. Like the baby Jesus and all his little angel friends descended upon my mid-size SUV and sang. It was that damn good.

The real regret came when I looked up the nutritional info……….

490 calories, 35g of carbs, 30g of fat, 18g of protein…. 13 points.

But I enjoyed every damn point and calorie. And let’s face it, it could’ve been a lot worse. I could’ve ordered 2 donuts, or caved in to the hash brown offering. But I didn’t. I had that as my lunch, and moved on. No dwelling on the flaky goodness, no getting upset about the gooey cheese. None of that here.

And you know what? I ate within my calories AND my points.

So up yours superb marketing ploy. Up yours.

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