It’s a level of body dysmorphia, I guess.
I keep seeing myself as the size 18//20 I was before I got pregnant and what I was shortly post partum. We only have one full length mirror in our house, in a guest room that we don’t use. All of the other mirrors in the bathrooms were hung by normal sized people so I only see from my nose up.
Which is good.
I didn’t see the gains. I didn’t see my face almost doubling in size. My “apron” has also increased in size. And because I avoid my reflection, I didn’t see it. I didn’t see the changes.
Until I got infront of the mirror the other day. What I saw was not me. It couldn’t be. I couldn’t be THAT big. It just couldn’t be.
How did I let that happen? And even more importantly, why?
I’m ridiculously ashamed of what I’ve let myself become and it’s time to change it now.